Being in my twenties, the topic of relationships is always a ripe one in my circles. Having attended numerous weddings, engagements, seen broken relationships restored and even reintroduced myself to the dating scene all within the last year, it’s safe to say ‘love is in the air’.
Aside from the obvious honesty, trust and respect requirements, most of us want someone we can build a future with. After having a conversation with some guy friends about what they desire, the concept of ‘building’ was imperative for them and in light of not having their own homes, owning cars and wanting to progress professionally, they voiced a feeling of inadequacy and not being able to bring anything to the table until they’d accomplished these things, and hence, would rather remain single.
While listening to them speak, it occurred to me how often we talk about the ideals and processes we want, but our actions don’t marry up (no pun intended). To me, according to their responses, having your own home, own car and being in a ‘successful/lucrative’ position professionally and wanting to build with someone are two different practices.
Once all of those things have been attained, essentially you’ve independently built your life, and now desire a partner. This then poses the question, which part of your life would you like him/her to build with you? As everything you’ve built, you’ve built alone.
This could then lead to him/her being unjustly labeled as an opportunist, gold digger or insincere based on your successes.
In addition to this, most ambitious individuals do not have one set of goals they want to achieve. Once the initial goals have been attained, it’s time to level up and move on to the next thing. With this, our lives will be a reflection of what we’ve worked hard for, but we’ll have no one to share those successes with.
Much like our relationship with Christ, he desires a relationship with us when things seem incomplete.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:29-30
Imagine if God was only interested in us if we had no flaws and nothing to work on?
So, over to you – how much do you think someone should build alone before getting in to a relationship? And does it even matter? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!