How can I best deal with big and scary changes?
Hey GGF reader,
Firstly, how was your summer? I hope you were able to have a break, rest, enjoy whatever good we had and made some good memories!
I also hope you have enjoyed the posts written by some awesome girls here over the past few months. If you did not know, we have been answering and doing our best to address some questions that were submitted by you wonderful people.
Questions regarding life, faith, and everything in-between.
These posts and reflections from the GGF team have been of great encouragement for me, and I hope they can do the same for you.
So, onto the final questions that I am going to try and tackle today:
How can I best deal with big changes?
And I’m going to link this question with “How do I deal with scary changes?” as I would say big, unexpected, unknown changes can be pretty scary right?
I was looking forward to sitting down and typing away here, as I have experienced a LOT of changes that I can say were pretty big and scary – especially over the last decade. There have been great changes and some which have been difficult: moving house, moving to a new area, starting university, starting a new job, moving jobs, getting married, having a baby, losing loved ones and a good friend unexpectedly….
Change can be big, and sudden, and unexpected. Whatever that change may be and look like for you – the last thing we might feel is ready or in control. So, how can we best deal with it?
Dear reader, I am going to share what has worked best for me – and I hope these can be of help to you as you navigate your own change. But remember to reach out and speak to someone you trust (parent, teacher, sports coach, youth leader) if you are struggling.
- Find a support system
I have to mention this first as this is often the first thing I turn to. Support. Your tribe. Whether that is your pastors from church, parents, siblings, or close friends- whether you ask them for prayer, advice, or just their company. Reach out and let someone know what you’re thinking about and how you’re feeling about it. Sharing what I am going through, and knowing that someone else understands, helps to make that change seem a lot less overwhelming. Sometimes we all need a helping hand, and there is nothing wrong with that.
- Notice your outlook
Why not focus on seeing the change from a different angle?
You’re moving school? Think about the new opportunities and friends you will make. Going to university? Think about what you will be studying and how you will be interested in finding out more of what you enjoy in a new environment (also looking forward to the awesome clubs and societies that will be there for you to join!).
We can embrace big changes by focusing on the good that can come out of it. What we will learn, how we will grow. Change can present us with the opportunity to be a better, stronger version of ourselves, to meet new people and experience new places. Who knows where change can take you!
- Find an “outlet”
If you know me, you know I often say perspective really is everything. Having an outlet – a place where I can pray, journal and write is very important to me. This has been my escape and anchor for years, journaling on a consistent basis since I was about 15 years old.
This can be difficult to do depending on your situation. Recently I had a good friend pass away unexpectedly. To say I was struggling to cope was an understatement, but thankfully I had a good support system, gave myself the space to grieve and journaled. I wrote down our best (and funniest) memories together. I would write to God how I was feeling and what I was thinking. I would write about how life looks now and what I am struggling with, but also ideas on how I can approach this. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea – and that’s ok – but it was of great comfort to me and a way of embracing this change and sudden loss in my life.
- Focus on things that make you happy
Perhaps you like to visit new cafes, going to the cinema, go to the beach or read books for hours on end. Taking the time to do things that make you happy matters and can also help to take your mind off of your troubles. The more positive things that you have and can fully enjoy, the easier it may be for you to ride out the changes that are happening all around you.
Big changes are never easy. But the good news is they’re not impossible to deal with. We have all experienced some pretty big changes over the years, and no matter what lies ahead, I hope that we approach changes knowing they can be overcome.