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The Validation Trap

written by Esther Egbeyemi November 13, 2016
The Validation Trap

We live in an age where we’re constantly encouraged to put our lives out there for all the world to see. The phrase ‘it’s a small world’ has never rung as true as it does at present and social media has made it insanely easy for people to know exactly what everyone else is up to.

We often feel the pressure to impress people with our amazingly epic lives, after all, no one wants to be labelled as boring!

Despite all the great memories and connections that social media has to offer, it can often cause us to enter dangerous territory. We might not even realise what’s happening, but it’s so easy to fall into the validation trap.

This is when we start to crave approval constantly and how we feel about ourselves ultimately becomes driven by how we’re perceived in the eyes of others.

I’ve certainly found myself in that position before, where I’ve ended up questioning how good my life actually is in comparison to people who seem to be living the dream. There’s this need to been seen living the ‘perfect life’, when the crazy thing is that it doesn’t exist!

There’s one BIG problem with seeking the validation of others…It’s TEMPORARY. After someone’s liked your Instagram post with your cute cat or your inspirational Facebook status, that’s it. There’s no re-like button, no ‘constant round of applause’ option (although that sounds amazing!), no ‘you the real MVP’ pop-up to remind you that people admire who you are.

The high we might get from the attention others give us is far from permanent. More importantly, there is a deeper question to be asked. If we’re desiring the approval of everyone else, where exactly does God fit in?

The bible says that He is a jealous God (Exodus 34:14) and he doesn’t want anyone or anything to take his spot in our lives.

God loves every one us with an intense, crazy love, so much so that he sent his son to die on the cross in our place despite us being flawed human beings (Romans 5:8). We don’t have to do anything at all to earn God’s love or care, and this is the creator of the world that we’re talking about!

Today, I pray you recognise that you are the beloved daughter of a God who sees you as incredible, unique, smart, funny, amazing, precious and his prized possession always. That fact won’t change. When you’ve got that, who needs the approval of people?!

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Esther Egbeyemi
Esther Egbeyemi

Esther recently completed her masters degree in Magazine Journalism. She is passionate about seeing young people succeed. She loves eating food (especially sweets!), being creative and spreading joy to the people around her.

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