This article goes out to anyone who has ever had a crisis of confidence, who has ever been hit with a wave of imposter syndrome, who has ever freaked out because everything feels so big and you feel so very small.
Ever felt like that? Me too.
Earlier this year I went back to university to start a PhD, I knew it was going to be hard, I mean, come on, it’s a PhD, right? But I had no idea how inadequate I would feel after every lecture. I had no idea how panicked I would feel before writing every essay. It hit me harder than I ever could have imagined.
It was pretty overwhelming.
Before stepping foot into the lecture room, before writing the first word of an assignment, before I could do anything I would always pray the exact same prayer: “God, if you don’t come with me and help me here, I’m simply not going to be able to do this.”
I needed him like never before.
Maybe you’re in a similar position right now, maybe you’re feeling over-whelmed and totally freaked out, maybe you’re feeling like you’re simply not enough.
We’ve all been there. We’ll probably all be there again.
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about that sweet kid who gave his lunch to Jesus so that Jesus could feed thousands of people with it (If you don’t know the story check it out, it’s a classic: John 6:1-15).
Cute gesture, right? What a polite kid, his parents raised him well. Kinda awkward though, because his lunch wasn’t anywhere near enough. Five bread rolls, two fish, thousands of people – you do the maths.
He didn’t have enough, that’s pretty clear even to a math-a-phobic person like me. But he took his not enough to the one person who could make his not enough into more than enough. He took it to Jesus.
I used to think that was just a really cool story about a really polite child until this year, until I had to bring my own not enough and trust that God could make it more than enough. It’s not just a cool story, it’s the way God works.
All we have to bring is what we have, that’s all God is after. It may not look like much to us, we may even be embarrassed to bring it forward, scared that someone will point out what we already know – that we’re not enough.
But do something brave and bring it anyway.
Maybe your studies are overwhelming you, maybe your relationships are taking more of your time than you actually have, maybe you’re about to face a challenge that just seems too big for you, or maybe you feel like you’re not the right person for the job.
Whatever it is, bring what you have. Bring your not enough and watch it become more than enough.
God doesn’t tease us, He doesn’t set us up to fail, you can trust Him with your little, He can do more with it than you could ever imagine.
You may not think you’ve got this, but I know someone who thinks that you’re the perfect person for the job. And that same someone will never let you go a day, an hour, a second without Him there, turning your little into a whole lot.
It’s just what He does.
So, here’s what we have to learn to do. We have to refuse to let the gap between what we need and what we have terrify us. It has to excite us. That gap is where God gets to do His thing, you better watch that space.
Here’s to the victory stories that are coming. I’m cheering you and God on – you’re an unstoppable team.