Never Giving Up Hope

In March last year I began an editorial internship on a bi-annual art and fashion magazine, headed up by a team of the industry’s most skilled journalists, editors, art writers, and fashion directors.

It was the perfect scenario: Lapped by Kensington’s town houses, the brilliant-white office was bedecked with past issues, art books, rails of clothing, and one stellar coffee machine. Lunch was paid for, and so was my travel into London. Days were dedicated to research, lots of writing, emails, and great conversation.

I knew this was exactly the place God wanted me to be; the path he had paved for me.

Just four weeks in and I was offered my first post-uni job (at this time I hadn’t actually graduated), and so I took it.

When I first began studying fashion journalism—three years earlier—I declared that I would get a job straight away. That my God was bigger than what the statistics or what the people say. “It’s tough for graduates to find work,” they’d say. Well, not for my God! With him all things are possible, and I believed and declared that my God would provide me with a job straight after graduation.

And he did, a whole two months before I finished.

Things got hard, and hard fast. The team was small and the demand for articles was high. I got in first and left last. It wasn’t glamorous in the slightest. Trainers were my go-to, and I developed an unhealthy reliance on coffee. Sadly, I was checking emails in the morning before checking in with the Lord.

For anyone reading who wants an inside tip to success, it’s to always put Jesus first. Wake up earlier to read the Word. Set time aside at night to journal what he’s speaking to you. “For the Word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any two double-edged sword,” says Hebrews 4:12. And you’ll need it out there as your weapon.

At the end of June we got some unexpected news: our niche bi-annual magazine had been bought by a multimillion-pound company. Change was on the horizon—and so were new jobs. It was exciting. Finally a proper contract and the possibility of a promotion. I left for a two-week mission trip to Pemba, Mozambique at the end of June and was deeply anticipating coming back to a new office, team, and job title.

My break on the far-flung shores of Pemba was idyllic in every way possible. There was no internet, emails, nagging PR’s, fashion house updates, complaining Facebook posts.

Instead my days were filled with beautiful village children braiding my hair and teaching me new ways to cook rice (I still find myself craving their rice and beans).

I saw the blind healed and deaf ears open. It changed me from the inside out and I will never be the same.

Fast-forward two weeks and I found myself on a Boeing 777 back to London Heathrow, with work the next day. What I’m about to share is a story of God taking control of my life and me having to rest in his warm embrace and simply trust…

Things felt different when I got back to the office. We hadn’t moved, and our jobs were at risk. “God, what is happening?” I thought. “Surely I can’t lose the job you gave me?”

But I did.

September came and they could no longer afford to pay me. Not as a staff member, nor as a freelancer.

“Be still and know that I am God,” resonated deeply with me. When I cried in the taxi home or sat waiting to hear back from the hundreds of applications I’d sent off, the light of Jesus met me right where I was. His love surrounded me when my thoughts raged war. When fear came knocking there he was my guide.

I began to stop speaking about the situation in my life and start speaking to it. Speaking about the mountains we face will change nothing but speaking to them with our God-given authority will. “God, this is your plan,” I said. “Let your will be done in my life. I decree and declare in the name of my Jesus Christ that I have a new job. It trust you in the good, and I trust you in the bad. You are sovereign over all.”

In the mess, madness, and chaos I found something greater: a God who has a plan—a plan far greater than I can ever fathom. His love never quits. Jobs will come and go, but the faithfulness of the Lord remains. Even without a job, or an income, I will let everything I have praise the Lord, forever and ever. For the best is yet to come.