Over the years I have read many posts of people sharing their experiences and wisdom for Christian dating and relationships, and the difficulties it can sometimes bring. Waiting for the right person, being equally yoked, finding someone who wants to wait until marriage before having sex, etc.
And those stories people have shared have been so helpful and full of truth, but it’s still possible to be a Christian, love Jesus more than anything, serve him whole-heartedly, and end up falling for someone who isn’t on the same page as you when it comes to your faith.
Recently I broke up with a guy for that very reason – we were not on the same page when it came to Jesus, and so it just wasn’t going to work. I haven’t felt this way about someone in such a long time, so to say it sucks is the biggest understatement ever.
I’ve spent so many nights in tears, to the point where I was so angry with God for letting me feel this pain, and for making me have to choose between Him and the guy.
I was literally like “God you don’t know how this feels!! This is so unfair, I’m never going to be able to be with him and it’s all because of you!!”
And that is when God dropped something in my spirit… “Of course I know how this feels. I don’t have him either.”
I’m not going to lie, that revelation blew me away. God actually gets it! He actually understands. His heart breaks for wanting them too! Like how could He not understand? After all, he created the whole world and gave Adam and Eve everything and yet they still didn’t choose him. That person that you want to have a relationship with, God is waiting to have a relationship with too. And he feels that way about every single person who isn’t in a relationship with him, so that’s a lot more heartache than I’m dealing with!!
I started to see everything from a different perspective and understand that it isn’t all about how I feel. No matter how amazing I think Gods plans for this person could be, God literally knows what the plans are and wants to tell them one-on-one.
I’m not going to lie and say that I’m happy I can’t be with this person, but I do understand that there’s a bigger purpose that is more important. And that purpose is God’s relationship with people.
“And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”
– Ephesians 3:17-20
As much as it isn’t wise to date someone who isn’t saved because of protecting you. It’s actually also just as much for their sake, because God wants them too. He actually wants them first because he has amazing plans he wants to get them ready for, and because he loves them just as much as he loves you.
So if you ever find yourself in the situation of choosing between your faith and someone you love, just remember that if you want the best for them, the best thing to do is actually to get out of the way and let Jesus take over.