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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

written by Laina April 30, 2016
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

One of my biggest fears has become #FOMO, the Fear Of Missing Out is real y’all.

When I was growing up I used to try so hard to be part of the ‘in crowd’ that I would end up compromising in more ways than one to try and fit it. Compromising my character, compromising my beliefs and compromising my convictions.

One of my favourite comedians is Mindy Kaling and she has a book titled “Is everyone hanging out without me” and that line resonates so much with me and with us as young women. No one wants to be left out and rejection actually hurts more than one can imagine.

So how do you deal with #FOMO and the idea that you are not alone?

Well, the first thing to remember is, contrary to popular belief, everyone is NOT doing it.

I went to boarding school and when we had weekends off and had to go home everyone would make plans to hang out and I would get so jealous and so worked up cause I knew my parents would want me to spend time with them and my two younger sisters. As the weekend progressed I would not enjoy my time at home imagining all the fun everyone was having without me.

However, come Monday morning when we got together again I would soon realise I worried over nothing and a few of them, if any, made it after all. So all that energy and time I wasted fretting and not enjoying the moment was for nothing!

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 Another important lesson I took from this was it is okay to be different.

Some of the stuff we miss out on is God protecting us and covering us from things we should not be exposed to at all.

It is so frustrating to be told you can’t go to a certain function or you can’t dress a certain way or date yet. But God has good plans for us as Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us God knows the plans He has for us, plans for good and not for evil to give us a future and an expected end.

Why not change the cycle, be in charge of the activities you do with your friends, get involved with your youth group, the moment you change your focus and get with like minded people your perspective will change for the better.

The moment that lie comes to your mind that you are left out and on your own, replace it with the truth of God’s word who says never will I leave you and never will I forsake you Hebrews 13:5.

Another wonderful way to make a change is thinking of someone else who might be feeling left out, give them a call and ask them to hang out. Be a blessing, in so doing you are also creating an environment to be blessed.

Instead of #FOMO why not be present in the moment no matter where you are, enjoy it and don’t miss out where you are.

Give it a go!

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Laina
Laina

Laina is a 20 something with a degree in Business Management, currently living and working in London. She loves reading, watching a good series, music, eating, and travelling...in no particular order. Empowering, working with young people, and mentoring is something that is very dear to her heart. Follow her on Instagram: @lalinhamzy

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13 comments

Mutsa May 30, 2016 - 7:54 pm

“Don’t let the fear of missing out rule your heart”- This is so encouraging!. Loved reading this post. Thanks Laina, you’re such a blessing.

Reply
Pamela Manny May 5, 2016 - 12:16 pm

Thank you Laina for inspiring the young people to be who God made them to be i.e Leaders and not followers of the crowd.

Reply
Pamela Manny May 5, 2016 - 11:25 am

This is really inspiring for all young people who are struggling with the Fitting In Issue. You have made really good points there and I do hope many are encouraged to be who they are and not who someone else is.

Reply
Aunty Millie May 3, 2016 - 7:41 pm

That is so inspirational young Christians need to hear this. Keep up the good work

Reply
JoAnn Durgin May 3, 2016 - 1:27 pm

Wonderfully stated! Your words resonate with me as I’ve been on both sides of the coin, so to speak. I loved this line, “Some of the stuff we miss out on is God protecting us and covering us from things we should not be exposed to at all.” Amen. And thank you for the Scriptures which are so applicable. May your post encourage many others. Blessings! 🙂

Reply
T.c May 3, 2016 - 10:10 am

Well done love

Reply
Mel May 2, 2016 - 11:31 am

So well written and i concur 100% with everything it says coz i have been one of them. 🙂

Reply
Aunty Carol May 1, 2016 - 11:44 am

Lai, I so loved reading that. I’m so proud of you. You go girl!

Reply
Nyasha Choruma May 1, 2016 - 7:26 am

What an awesome article and so real 👏👏. #MOFO is something we have to continually deal with, I’ve learnt that we all want to belong and be part of something, but it’s quite important to make sure our contentment is found in God and that takes a huge pressure off on desperately wanting to fit in. Learnt the hard way that it’s ok to be alone is some seasons and “miss out” lol .. Thank you for sharing.

Reply
Vakoma April 30, 2016 - 5:41 pm

This is a great piece, our young women need to be more confident in choosing a path that is different to the one their “friends” are in. It’a only now that I’m older that I find its okay to be your own kind of amazing.
Well done Lai

Reply
Ps Clarah Manyangadze April 30, 2016 - 5:16 pm

Well done

Reply
Anonymous April 30, 2016 - 2:57 pm

Well done Missy that is soo true. Thanks for the message really encouraging 🙏🏻

Reply
Vivian Borquaye April 30, 2016 - 11:07 am

You are such a blessing Emma!!! Keep it up.xxx

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