On the eve of starting university I made a vow not to befriend any boys. This may sound dramatic and slightly anti-social but I had acquired something of a reputation back home, which I was determined to shake.
During school I had a problem: I couldn’t seem to have guy friends without them getting the wrong idea. To my surprise they would say “you lead me on!” or “what do you mean you don’t like me?”
It turns out I just wasn’t honouring them with my behaviour, so below is some advice to avoid my mistakes.
Here are 5 signs you are probably not honouring a guy in *friendship*:
1. Prolonged text/messenger/snapchat conversations (especially past 10pm): this is so easy to do especially when you get along well, but long text conversations and quick replies can often mislead guys into thinking you are probably interested in them.
2. Hanging out just you two: also can be totally innocent and I hang out with guy mates all the time – but before you do seriously consider how they will perceive the situation. You may think nothing of it, but it is possible they read more into it.
3. Attention seeking: Do you put on that extra makeup or that crop top when you know they will be there? Do you make sure they notice you? Do you make sure you’re extra funny in that group conversation? Looking for their attention is just self-serving, to make you feel good and can often mean you neglect friends with you.
4. Hot-and-cold: guys and girls do this all the time – we are really interested one minute and blanking them the next. Be consistent in your friendship and don’t leave everything down to them. If it is clear that He is interested and you aren’t, have a conversation about it and let the elephant out of the room.
5. Being touchy-feely: of course you will hug goodbye and you might high five but sitting on your mate’s lap, getting piggy backs or holding his hand will all send mixed signals. Even just sitting that little bit too close so your arms touch could lead him to think you have feelings where you don’t.
You will be happy to know I quit my vow and now have some lovely guy friends, but I still decide to act in a way that honours them.
(*take this with a pinch of salt if you fancy them – but it is still important to honour our crushes)